Wanted - Leo Valdez
by Reality Hits Hard
Summary: How much is Leo worth? Is he worth a Percy? Or maybe a Jason? Two Pipers? Dedicated to I am Reyna Daughter of Bellona.


Leo was not having a typical day. He kept on looking over his shoulder as he worked in the engine room, expecting his sudden death to lunge at him at any given moment. When the clock struck twelve and there had not been any screaming, deaths, or even anything remotely exciting for three hours, he knew something was up.

He slipped the screwdriver he had been using into the magical toolbelt strapped around his waist and wiped his oily hands on a spare towel hanging on a pipe. Leo left the engine room cautiously. As quietly as he could, (and that wasn't saying much) he pulled out his hammer from his toolbelt and tiptoed up the stairs to the main deck. He listened for any signs of a monster.

There were certainly a lot of noises. In fact, there was a grinding sound that kept on shifting, as if someone was dragging something heavy across the floorboards. Leo gritted his teeth. Something was hurting _his baby. _

A shriek suddenly pierced the air. That was Piper. She was in trouble.

Leo raced across the steps and jumped up onto the deck, ready to spring into action. In one hand, his hammer was over his head in an offensive position, poised to strike. In his other hand, a ball of fire was slowly beginning to grow bigger as he prepared to launch it at whatever monster had chosen to attack his friend.

Leo started to shout, "Flame –" He froze immediately.

The scene in front of him was not at all what he had pictured.

Piper, with a frustrated look on her face, was hunched over a box covered with wrapping paper, trying to keep the decorations in place with a stapler. Jason looked concerned and Leo noticed a faint trickle of blood on her thumb, where it seemed she had stapled her finger.

"If I could charmspeak inanimate items…," Piper's words turned into Greek curses.

Hazel and Frank, who was now in bald eagle form, were trying to hang a banner that read, "_Happy Birthday Leo," _on the crossbows, which looked rather strange.

Only Nico looked remotely normal. He was sitting on a chair, holding a cake; the most relaxed Leo had ever seen him. Of course, his eyes still looked like he was being murdered on the inside, but however unnerving and sad that was, Leo had learned to get used to it. The son of Hades was watching the scene with an amused look on his face, as if saying, _I'm not a part of this freakshow. _

Everyone turned to stare at Leo and he immediately put down his hammer and extinguished the flame in his hand.

Frank accidentally let go of the banner and it landed on Hazel's smiling face as everyone weakly yelled, "Surprise!"

For a moment, Leo was stunned. He stared at the scene with wide eyes, suddenly remembering that today was his birthday.

An embarrassed Jason said, "Come on, man! Say something!"

Leo laughed. "Oh gods, this, this, I can't even speak. Where the Hades is my camera? I need to take a picture, like now. I need to show this to my kids one day."

"Leo!" Piper said, her face red. "Okay, fine, you deserve to laugh. We suck at birthday parties. Forget this." She threw the staple down at the present and stood up. "But the cake's good. Nico made it. It's your favorite. It's…uh…"

"Bones and blood cake," Nico filled in from her. "Got the recipe from my buddy Napoleon down in the Underworld."

Piper's smile faded. "Bones and blood cake?" She looked queasy. "In that case, we can eat the cake later. Um, maybe Leo should open the presents first."

Leo got three presents, an iPod from Piper, _Call of Duty: Black Ops II _from Jason, and, surprisingly, a Mythomagic game set from Nico.

"Do me a favor, and don't tell Percy I got you this," Nico muttered.

"So, Leo," Hazel said nervously. "Frank and I got you..."

"Hey, what's this?" Nico interrupted, picking up a large piece of paper from the pile of monster remains from the fight earlier that morning. "The monster must've been carrying this when it was attacking us. How the Hades did we miss it till now?"

Leo frowned and took the poster from Nico.

It had a picture of his smiling face in the center, looking very handsome, in Leo's opinion. Underneath the picture, in big bold letters, was _Wanted Dead or Alive: Leo Valdez. _And below that were the words, _Worth 2 Frank Zhangs._

Leo started grinning. He was worth two Franks? He vaguely registered in the back of his mind that the drawing of him seemed to have been made by colored pencils. He didn't think that monsters bent on destroying civilization would really spend time drawing faces of handsome young men.

"Oh gods," he heard Frank mumble from behind him.

Leo spun around and pointed at Frank. "I'm worth two yous!"

Frank covered his face with his hands. "There's no way you're worth two mes, Valdez!"

"It's all right baby face," Leo said with a grin. "On the bright side, you might just be worth two Octavians."

He was so occupied with the poster that he completely forgot to ask about Hazel and Frank's present. "I'm worth two Franks. Flame on, baby!" His hair was starting to catch on fire.

Hazel took a step back. "Whoa there, Leo. Calm down."

Jason patted Frank's back. "If I were you, I'd destroy that poster. Or use your shape-shifting powers to turn into a turtle. Leo's never going to let you forget this, buddy."

"Great," Frank groaned. "Nico, you want to direct me to nearest entrance to the Underworld? At least if I die, I won't have to be reminded that I'm worth less than Valdez."

Leo shrugged. "It's all right, Frank. I won't remind you continually about your worth. I'll just create an indestructible glass case for this poster and then place it on the sky deck so that whenever you pass by, you'll remember that I'm awesomer than you." He walked downstairs, already planning the construction of the case.

Frank glared at Hazel. "Why in _inferno _did you have to rope me into this?"

Hazel smiled. "Come on, Frank. Look how happy the poster made him." She took out the colored pencils she carried around in her pocket and a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes.

Usually her colored pencils were sharp but now, the tips were merely stubs, as if they had just been used.

**Thanks for reading this, guys. This is dedicated to I am Reyna Daughter of Bellona whose birthday was in January. Ray, be honored that your birthday present is late. That means that I must really like you. xD **

**Not my best work but then again I don't think I have a "best work." All I have is a jumble of mediocre writing pieces. **

**Oh well. You take what you can get, right?**

**Crucio!**

**-A very late Selene**


End file.
